When your super morbidly obese society teaches us that you are not as much of a person as you are a comedic relief for normal society. How many shows have you watched where the excessively large character is used to provide a quick chuckle or lighten a serious moment.
Most Adam Sandler movies have at least 1 fat character moment. Lucky for me Macyn loves his early films so I’m reminded frequently of how funny a perfectly placed fat character can make people laugh. Peter Griffin weighs 270lbs how many times is his weight used for humor in the show they even have a larger woman on a rascal they throw in for fun as well. At my heaviest I was 150lbs funnier than Peter Griffin. Shallow Hals Gwyneth Paltrow fat suit was designed to replicate a 350lb woman. In one scene She broke a chair in a restaurant and Hal goes off about the structural integrity of their furniture. Do you know how many chairs I broke in my lifetime? Do you think anyone blaming the quality of the furniture helped me through those embarrassing moments? Homer Simpson weighs 239lbs when he goes on a binge to gain 61 lbs to become disabled and be able to work from home I felt that. After weighing 420lbs and struggling to make it to work daily due to Arthritis flare ups somehow Homer Simpson at 300lbs and sitting at home wearing a moo moo doesn’t seem so funny.
So today I sit here with all these memories of living life as a “fat girl” but being treated and welcome in a society that has no clue of my past. When new people meet me they don’t know that that same society I’m now welcome in has been mocking me and laughing at a condition that I suffered through for years. I don’t want to be a part of that society. I don’t want to join you in mocking those that are hurting or lost. I don’t want to join you in laughing at those that are doing the best they can right now. I see you for what you really are. Uncomfortable around those that are different. Unsure of how to approach someone who’s forced to wear their mental demons on the outside. I know you guys have the same issues I did when I was obese struggling with stress, anxiety, depression, mental disorders and feelings of worthlessness. You just choose to deal with them differently.
I was the girl that used humor to protect myself for so long. I laughed about my love of food. Joked about being a fat ass. I made people giggle and laugh with the jokes I made about myself. I joined in on the fat jokes only instead of them being about others I made them about myself. For years I identified not as male or female as Meghan or Meg but as fat. It wasn’t a part of me it was all I saw in me. I’m here today sharing with those that like me lost their sense of self you are more than a fetish. You are more than a joke. You are more than comedic relief. You’re a person. You may have fat. You may have eating disorders. You may have other health issues. But you are you. There’s a person in there that deserves to be loved and treated like a human being. Don’t let society tell you otherwise.